Closed I need a website template for stand up comedian - can pay

I need a website template. I'm a stand up comedian. I can pay.

I like dark colored theme, Old fashioned microphone, classy design, theatrical, traditional but slightly whimsical. I see comedy as a mix of traditional stage and class but still fun. Heavier on the classy stage side. Need a place for my picture and links such as appearances, gallery, sample clips, contact me, and a way for people to join my email list so I can email them when I'm appearing in their area. I'll post the clips on youtube and mirror them on my site.

I want it totally turnkey. I have Dreamweaver and I know how to upload via ftp. I have my own domain and so forth. I want to buy it outright, free and clear.

My timeframe for this is mid May 2013. Email me: jamesriske@yahoo.com